Defining Moment

Here in the online world of Domination and submission, both real and imagined, we tend to be bombarded and consumed by fascinating and titillating BDSM imagery. Naturally, the vast majority of these images are staged for our entertainment. They are populated by people who do not look like us, doing things most of us only imagine. For the most part, these images focus on the more sadistic and mosochistic sides of BDSM because this is what plays well in imagery. They are high on masturbatory value but convey little of the true meaning behind a D/s relationship.

I for one gain the most gratification within a D/s relationship from the emotional, mental and spiritual bond between two loving and caring D/s partners. The sex is great, the beauty of her nudity amazing, and her willingness to please most gratifying. But more than that, much more, is the awe-inspiring sense of gratitude and humility I feel when the woman I am attracted to, respect and care for, chooses of her own volition to kneel before for me and present herself, heart, mind, body, and spirit.

Some time ago the woman who became my Muse, after months of conversation and getting to know one another, asked what it would take to become a submissive. We talked about it and compared notes on preferences, likes, dislikes, desires, fears, and many other topics, arriving at a mutual but never fully communicated recognition that we were potentially very compatible with one another. When she asked, “How do I go about doing something like this?” and it became clear that she was interested in exploring a D/s relationship with me, my response was simple and uncomplicated. “You need only ask.” Naturally, I described in more detail the art of presentation, which of course was slightly ritualized, but that only added to the significance of such a request.

One day, not long after, the woman who became my Muse presented herself to me precisely as I described; on her knees, palms upraised, head bowed, and asked politely and earnestly if I would take her as my submissive and guide her and train her in the art of Domination and submission. I stand here today to tell you that there is nothing in all of the BDSM imagery on the Net that can begin to convey the power, majesty, and humility of that moment. When a woman you respect, adore, and admire presents herself to her Dom or potential Dom in this manner there is little else in life that I know of that can inspire the emotion and humbling sense of awe I feel in that moment. I can only compare it to the moment of saying “I do” at the altar, or the birth of a child. 

When a woman strips herself bare of not only the clothes that cover her body, but also the shackles of a lifetime of conditioning and insecurities, finds the strength to kneel before another and ask to be taken, it is truly the most powerful moment in a BDSM relationship. Oh, there are many, many other powerful moments and experiences, and I routinely feel a sense of awe and gratitude as she continues to find new ways to display her submission and desire to learn and grow. But none for me can compare to the power, majesty, humility, and grace that I feel when the right woman holds out her trembling hand and heart and asks to be taken.

This is truly a defining moment, not only in a relationship but also in a life. Any man fortunate enough to have this experience should treat it with the awe, humility and respect it deserves. For, short of witnessing the birth for your first child, there is little I can think of in this life that compares to the awesome sense of gratitude and responsibility this defining moment brings.

Be worthy of such a moment.

Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2012

submissives aren’t great because of their submissiveness.

but because of the level of their love, trust and devotion.

the delicate dance between a Dominant and His submissive, lies in both of their abilities to give.

with love at the core, everything is possible.

within a true love relationship, and that level of trust, there are no limits. 

there are no short paths to this, as there are no short paths in any relationship.

it all takes time.

too many submissives want to be at the end of a leash, collared, without really knowing why.

too many Dominants want to tug on that leash without really knowing why.

know who you are first, deeply soul search to understand ..you.

and with this knowledge you will be able to ’ bring ’ to a relationship, instead of just ‘taking from.’

and this is where it will become richer for the two of you.

how dark and to what depth you both choose to delve, is entirely up to you.

You know… Something Dom’s need to take into consideration - don’t make this rule if you don’t intend to stick around. Once you’ve got a girl trained this way, and you just leave? She’s fucked. It’s a hard mindset to break out of. This is just one of the “minor” areas you can hurt/negatively affect someone. Don’t take on a sub if you don’t truly give a fuck about her. What she gives is a gift, not something to be squandered as if it means nothing. Fuck. I’ll probably get shit for saying this, but it’s true. Your title carries a responsibility. Never forget that.

“put your hands on the desk and don’t move until I come back.”

This was such a powerful set of scenes for me, and I found her character so very admirable during all of this. Not only did she display an amazing level of devotion and obedience, but this was also about integrity. She did what she absolutely believed was right and necessary, no matter how many people tried to convince her otherwise. Even when He doubted, she didn’t. Just beautiful.

From the movie: The Secretary